ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER as Esteban's dying fantasy

Manuela through Esteban's eyes

The structure of All About My Mother has always fascinated me. Pedro Almodóvar’s 1999 melodrama begins as one thing, then becomes another, before transforming into something else altogether. Esteban, the seemingly lead character – the “my” in the title - dies within the first 10 minutes or so, and even then the movie keeps moving around with Manuela, the titular mother, in the lead role. It’s easy to write off this first section of the film because all of the memorable scenes and characters appear after Manuela takes a train from Madrid to Barcelona.

The first section however builds up the rest of the film beautifully, culminating in Esteban’s untimely death. The filmmaking in that sequence is rather curious, with Esteban’s death happening from his own point of view. The angle of the camera is as if we are Esteban lying on the ground, with Manuela running towards him and appearing to cradle the camera as she holds Esteban’s head before letting him (and us) lay back down. The death from the POV of the dying is unsettling but perhaps it also keeps Esteban as the lead character even after his death. As his mother reads his notebook, we hear his voice in voiceover, with the viewer seeing Manuela from his eyes (just like when he observes her across the street and in the theatre).

Esteban dying

I offer the reading that the rest of the film is Esteban’s dying fantasy, imagining his mother’s life without him. She is still dedicated to him, fiercely so, as she follows his donated heart to another hospital and observes its recipient. Her grief of his death comes up at a moment’s notice. Manuela commits to resolving her past with his father, something he had wanted her to do. I’ve been thinking of this movie like Mulholland Dr., where the first 90 min or so can be read as a fantasy concocted by Diane’s subconscious to deal with her guilt and grief. In All About My Mother, it’s to construct what Manuela would have told Esteban if he had lived.

 

Everything in this first part of the film informs an element that comes after Esteban’s death. He observes his mother role playing in an organ donation training, something she experiences in real life. Manuela and Esteban watch A Streetcar Named Desire on stage and All About Eve on television, both of which become major plot points. Manuela says she played Stella in the past, and then gets to do so now with Huma Rojo, Esteban’s favorite actress. First, she becomes Huma’s personal assistant then takes over for the actress playing Stella. These two works of art are the last ones that Esteban consumes and then the characters live them in their real life; they were on his mind and in his subconscious at the time of death and so they play out as he’s dying. Huma Rojo later in the film she started smoking to be like Bette Davis, another All About Eve reference, and she quotes Streetcar in conversation. In the play, Huma asks “where is my heart?,” which recalls Esteban’s own heart going from his body to a stranger’s. Huma's next play features a recreation of Esteban's death. This could be Esteban’s projection of who Huma Rojo is, based on his own speculation and his admiration of her.

All About Eve in real life

Streetcar/following Esteban's heart

Each of the characters can be seen as Esteban’s projections of his mother. Rosa is the innocent Manuela, impregnated and abandoned by Lola (formerly Esteban). Rosa names her baby Esteban; this third Esteban is the reborn second Esteban. Rosa is shown as naïve and pure, even with her risky behavior, and Esteban sees his mother as the same. There is no judgment of Rosa, and her death is a tragic symbol of Rosa’s naïveté becoming Manuela’s resilience. Manuela promises Rosa she won’t hide anything from the 3^rd Esteban, a point of contention between Manuela and her Esteban. 

Rosa's request/Esteban's wish for his own mother

Agrado is Manuela in the past. Esteban asks Manuela if she would prostitute herself for him, and they talk about how Esteban says he all he would need is a big penis if he were to become a sex worker. Later in the film there is rather invasive talk about Agrado’s genitals, as people consistently ask about hers. Esteban has never met Agrado, but he did see a picture of Manuela from those days, so perhaps Agrado’s whole look and persona was planted in his mind from that. Agrado is named for her agreeable but no-nonsense nature, and Manuela exhibits those traits as she acquiesces to Esteban on his birthday even with some reservations.

Esteban/Agrado as sex workers

Nina, who plays Stella in the play, is cast as an unreliable drug addict who must be dispensed with so that Manuela can play the role that belongs to her in Esteban’s mind. Esteban sees Huma Rojo and Nina arguing about her drug use, and he brings Manuela into that story and gets rid of Nina completely. Rosa’s mother is the side of Manuela that is worrisome, somewhat conservative, and neurotic. She’s the Manuela who scolds him when he crosses the street without looking or is turned off by a Truman Capote passage. Rosa’s mother isn’t quite an antagonist, but just someone who has to deal with a lot and is struggling to comprehend her daughter.

Nina removed for the 
"real" Stella

Rosa's mother

This brings me to Lola, Esteban’s father. The movie has two Lola stand-ins before she appears in earnest. The first one is Rosa’s father, who is suffering from dementia and has trouble remembering his own daughter. Lola never knew that she had a son, just like Rosa’s father has to be told who his daughter is. Also, Rosa’s father suspects his wife of infidelity, thinking Rosa’s son is his wife’s illicit child. Lola too was controlling, jealous, and suspicious. The other Lola avatar is Mario, the actor who plays Stanley in the Streetcar production (the role Lola played). Mario is sexually aggressive, impulsive, and intrusive of women’s bodies without being outright predatory. Lola is very impulsive, though in a much more destructive fashion. Esteban's association of the brutish Stanley with his father is what gives these men these attributes. The men are more stand-ins for a distant Esteban 1 figure rather than for Lola herself. They represent the absence of men as parental figures, who think for themselves but not of others.

Mario hitting on Agrado

Rosa's father is jealous

When the real Lola does appear however she is shown to be just as profound in her grief as Manuela. Within this interpretation of the movie, it is interesting to see Esteban envision his father as a trans woman. His father when she appears almost has to be a woman because Esteban is projecting his own mother as Lola. Lola is but a mirror of Manuela, because Lola now shows more maternal attributes as well as repentance and love towards both him and his reborn self, Esteban 3. Manuela is the picture of the devoted mother, so when the mysterious father comes in, she must present herself in Manuela’s image. This is Esteban’s subconscious filling in the blanks of his and his mother’s life, so the cruel Esteban 1 becomes the remorseful and motherly Lola. Esteban 3 is able to meet his father, something Esteban never had.

Lola asking to meet Esteban

Esteban 3 meeting his father

Esteban becomes a unifying figure amongst Manuela, Rosa, Agrado, Rosa’s mother, Nina, Lola, and Huma Rojo. Whether directly or indirectly, he is the reason that these women are all came together and they formed these relationships through Esteban. His picture is passed around, as Manuela’s grief becomes everyone’s grief and they heal together. Esteban 3 is his subconscious imagining living again, a miracle baby, born of two HIV+ parents but who doesn’t contract it himself. Esteban in his dying moments is telling a story of his mother and father, a story he never got to hear himself. 

Esteban 3, the miracle baby/Esteban as unifier